Oh man, I have so much to say. This new year has started off all kinds of crazy.

First off, the day before New Years Eve I made a really dumb mistake that I’m paying $2,000 for. I won’t get into that, but lets just say the first three months of the new year I’ll be extremely poor, but! I’ll have learned a good lesson right off the bat.

Second, I’m now all moved into my new apartment and oh my gosh is it everything I’ve ever dreamed of! It’s soooo beautiful. The big windows fill me with so much joy. I wake up in the morning to this beautiful light coming in from everywhere. The snow is falling outside and this is exactly how I pictured taking it all in. I’ve got my white strand of Christmas lights on and I’m listening to beautiful music… it’s just unexplainable. There is so much chaos going on for all of my friends and myself and yet in this moment I feel content. I feel like it’s all going to be okay. I feel lucky.

My friend Kayleigh came over early this morning before she had to leave for Michigan again. Oh my gosh, what a perfect waking. Taking in the morning with food and coffee and a best friend. I really am lucky for the friends I have. My two best, Kayleigh and Ian. They are the reason for my content feelings, whenever those feelings happen. We got so much done while she was here. I feel like she gets everyone moving. I was feeling so stuck in a rut, and then she came to see my new place, went shopping with me, got groceries, got me back to baking again, and gave me a fresh start. She also understands my boy situations, I thoroughly enjoy her stories and I’m sooo glad she exists.

Speaking of boys, there has kind of been this new boy around. Not sure if having this happen at the same time as the new apartment move was good or not… I don’t get the whole game in general. I find that it’s much less lonely to not concentrate on them at all, because once they’re semi in your life you find yourself going crazy waiting for them to talk to you again. You wait by the phone and you play the ‘lets-not-txt-him-too-many-times’ game, because of these made up rules that tell you that you’ll look needy, or some shit, if you do. Why can’t we just talk to the people we enjoy? Now, him and I are very different people and I’m not sure it’s going to go anywhere anyway, but damn these games. And damn him if he doesn’t get back to me, because I’m fucking awesome. ;]

Anyway, I have a lot to look forward to, I just have to remember that we’re still all really young. We have so many more experiences yet to go. I still think it’s important to let the little happinesses hit you extra hard. Every day is a gift and chance to do something new and great. And hey, if this boy doesn’t talk to be anymore than it was an experience that made me feel that someone wanted me for a little bit… which is a nice feeling. Now, that being said, I think I’ll get back to my music, gazing out my window, and sipping on some delicious coffee.

It’s good to have hopes and dreams, and it’s good to put yourself out there regardless of rejection and judgements, because at least you’re trying. You don’t get anywhere if you don’t try.